Trusting the Process

“Images birth one another. moving us within ourselves.” -Author Sean Mcniff

In 2005, I was commissioned to create a line of greeting cards for women having difficulties with fertility issues.  They were to be sold at hospital gift shops and clinics. I found this timely, in that my husband and I were talking about starting a family. I had my own fears around becoming pregnant and did not think that I could conceive. Once, again I turned to my art and it’s process to heal my fears around becoming pregnant. The opportunity with the card company did not come to fruition so in instead I chose to take the artwork that I had created and turn them into my own card line.  I created the artwork before, during, and after pregnancy and they became the springboard for the process of all of my cards.

What I learned is that when you paint and continue to move from one picture to the next a series of pictures will emerge. The women’s series were all my personal experiences, feelings, hopes and dreams of being woman and becoming a mother. When the paintings were finished , I would gleam more of a feeling from them then a particular insight that would point me in the direction of the next painting. There was an energy to them that built on the previous ones.  In each painting, I would start with the woman figure and as I painted  new qualities would emerge from her in color, composition and overall feeling.  I was moving with the art and as the paintings were changing I was changing with them.

Looking at our own paintings gives us a glimpse at our inner landscape. When we work on a series of paintings it allows us to see our life over a period of time.  Our lives are often fragmented and we often look to the outside world for answers or direction. A world that is unpredictable and in constant change. To relax in periods of uncertainty within our art work is a skill we can take into our lives.  There is often a point in when doing art when one is uncertain what the next move should be or where the painting  is heading. This can be a place of chaos.  As in art this is true in life.  It has been studied that Creativity increases with chaos. Chaos can be a place where we flourish instead of flee from. We can use our imagination to dive into unknown and see where it takes us. To trust the creative intelligence within our own bodies and “letting go” into the unknown will lead us to new places of healing and hope.