Learning To Fly..

The experience of life balance or attempt for life balance was so clear to me recently while flying my first kite. Just to get it off the ground felt like a miracle in aeronautics. Our five year old was the kite runner, yet there was so much wind he only needed to hold it in place as the wind moved past it. This whole process, of waiting, holding and balancing the kite is very much like the process of following life and where it may lead us.

The kite flyer is in all of us, consistently striving to hold onto our anchor or dowel as life pulls and tugs us in new directions. Our failures, let downs, and personal blocks are sometimes (old ways), that as humans, we try to hold onto. Trying something different like flying a kite can put a different perspective of how life can really be. It was amazing how just a little wind little wind can lift one to experience life effortlessly.

In life and in kite flying, we wait with anticipation for that right lift that will carry us with minimal effort or force. Because, with too much tether we barely catch our lift but rather limp along. A balance of letting out enough of who we are in the world without giving all of what we have in us away. With a little grit and determination, we hold on tight and we force change or things to happen for us in a certain way. A particular outcome. Forcing something that does not fit keeps us grounded. The fewer options we think we have in our life keeps us grounded. Creativity thrives on the many, on the endless possibilities that is available to us if we are open and willing to listen. Letting go and listening to the our inner compass helps us determine which way the wind is blowing or whether we need to put forth effort or be guided in the moment. When we live this way we discover self determination and a new life that appears without lift.

So we wait, and listen, to be guided by something greater than who we are. And just like that we are air bound! How we got there we do not know, yet we are there just the same. We watch in amazement as we fly, soar with pure joy and exhilaration. It almost takes our breath away. Quickly, we learn to be guided. It pulls on our heart strings, and we remember yes this is how it feels to be free. Feeling our way along, we fall behind this force, we are led and we have “let go.”

This freedom, we may have felt at times in our life or not at all. This is uncharted territory to be in this new place of unexpected change and growth. If we feed into this fear we will suddenly be taken off course or take a sudden nose dive back to earth. 

Without knowing where the winds of change may take us we start to feel the same anxiety we felt before we ever left the ground.  We worry that there may not be enough wind to fill our sails. We start to question what fills us out. Keeps us expansive and fulfills us from within. We pay attention to the wind direction,  to those things are in our life that fulfill us.

So we gently fall behind this grace once again, and there is stillness. Pure, stillness and a peace as we hang in the balance of where life can begin for us. Being fully present to where it may lead us. To be gentle with ourselves and others as we change and as life changes around us. The freedom to be more of who we are without imposing too many restrictions.

Living Outside the Lines

When I was on my walk this week, I noticed the flower bed that we pass was still empty of any type of growth. But, just beyond its borders there were tiny crocuses peeking their heads among the grass. This was obviously not the intention of the retirement home who have been known to plant the artificial variety.

What came to mind is that nature does not fit into tiny boxes. Nor, does it flourish there. It takes up space where it knows it will be best nurtured and cared for. Fresh air, an open field, flourishing outside the lines of the status quo.

Being happy with who one is and where one is headed in life reminds me of the tiny crocus. For some of us it means forging a path that is off the beaten path. Or not our usual course of action. What this means for each of us is different yet important. Planning the design of our life takes a certain type of artistry. Drawing out the rough sketches, of where we want our life to take shape and grow. This takes the ability to reflect on what type of space that speaks to the heart. And to not be surprised with the fact that when we listen to our heart it often takes us beyond the well kept borders of where we thought we belonged.

The esteemed author Clarissa Pinkola Estes writes that “eccentricity is the first sign of giftedness.” Which to me means the little bits and pieces that makes us unique or “eccentric,” is the best place to live from. When we live beyond self-imposed borders we quickly learn that our gifts and talents that we came here with has a place or a design in the world. And that we add color and character and often complement those in our life who also are also working at embracing who they are.

There are artists that plan their composition carefully ahead of time and there are others that compose as they go. And there are some like myself that do a little bit of both. Doing a rough sketch helps me have a framework to start from. I have noticed that for some artists they can look at the world and paint it exactly how it is seen. Almost like a photograph it turns out as an exact replica of what they are painting. I am amazed and have great respect for  how this process works for them. But, for me I have learned that this does not work. I like working from the sketch as a framework than expanding beyond those borders to let it take me where it will. A different color here, new shape there. Having some traces of the original but also taking on a life of its own. This is where I feel at home, having a little bit of freedom and taking a big sigh of relief knowing that my life or work does not need to look like anything real to the outside world.

There is no right way of composing in life or art. I do not claim to be an expert in either. Rather, a faithful gardener who is constantly seeking new ways of framing my art and life in such a way that speaks to the heart.