Expectations-what we create matters

Expectation, it is a harsh word in my mind. In fact, the thought of writing about expectations in life and art was almost too much for me to want to write about.  I started to think about what are my expectations on writing about expectations! What if what we expect is not what we want or seeking? Where do all of our expectations in life come from? It can be from past experience, our upbringing, or even what we had envisioned or dreamed for ourselves.

How does art play into this? Well, as the artist, which in my mind we all are because we create every day of our lives. What to wear, how to behave, what to say and how we say it. Living life is the ultimate creative act. And when one stares at the blank canvas of life it is easy to fill in the void with “should” and “should-not’s.” In fact, it is so easy but we continue to do it cycling around the same expectations we have for ourselves and others. There is nothing, more detrimental to my work as an artist when I look at my work or life through the lens of limitation and attachment to a particular outcome. 

As an artist I have learned that it is the journey that is most important not the destination. When I first started taking lessons I would work so hard at making things look “realistic,” the more I tried the less it looked like anything my heart would have wanted.  Even the acclaimed artist Georgia O’Keefe had to work through self-imposed expectations.  “I was taught to paint like other people and I knew that I’d never paint as well as the person I’d been taught to paint like. There was no reason for me to attempt to do it any better. I hadn’t been taught any way of my own.”

To be on one’s own is a spiritual journey, the path of the artist. To spend more time dwelling within more than anywhere else. When looking at the world from this place there is a softness and suppleness. The edges in life are smoother and more sublime. There is less energy expended on what is expected and more time to be oneself. One’s true self.

So, my advice to self is to create a life that feels like a fit with who I really am. Less about accomplishment and ambition and more about meaning. Ordinary, everyday kind of meaning that takes on the slower natural rhythm of daily life. Being kinder to myself, making time for play and most importantly letting go.